Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Beyonce, Illuminati, Lady Gaga, Larry Wilson, lory62, mjhd.net, party bus
Back to mjhd.net, yup, getting to be like home. So much to work with, so little skin on my fingers to spare. Short n’ sweet this time, I have a plea for enlightenment.
Please refer to this post: http://www.michaeljacksonhoaxdeath.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=64&t=1540 in which you will be able to gather that there is some illuminati connection, which I’m down with considering, something about a “party bus”, the Statue of Liberty, Christianity vs. Paganism, and Lady Gaga and Beyonce are involved.
Ok, lost me officially lory62. But I just have to point out to lory62, that Christianity ripped off Pagan symbols, rituals, and lore, and applied them all as their own. Yup, original plagiarism at it’s best and you’re eating it up. So really, your credibility is gone right there, and you won yourself a place on StupidHoaxTheoryoftheDay automatically with that brilliant bit of logic.
But I digress as lory62 claims to have cracked the hoax. She says Larry Wilson is the key. So, again, call me a stupid sadist, but I can’t figure out for the life of me who the fuck this guy is. And apparently I’m not the only one as even the stupid who follow the stupid can’t figure it out. Perhaps jokes on us as lory62 herself seems to have no clue either, or she herself is the victim of Illuminati mind wiping. After 3 pages of stupid replies and 2 days lori62 has yet to return and fill us in on this crucial bit of info holding the key to what we are all dying to know….
Will Lady Gaga drives the party bus loaded with pagan symbols to the Statue of Liberty with this Larry Wilson as her copilot to find Michael Jackson hiding with Beyonce and it will all be revealed on Twitter?
Stay tuned….
Irony says this may be the indisputable revelation that ends the hoax and thrusts Michael back on to the world stage. Murphy’s Law says I am doomed to eat my words.
But I doubt it.
For today’s post we travel back to mjhd.net. I don’t mean to pick on mjhd.net, really, it’s not my fault they are simply chock full to the brim with stupid. Perhaps stupid flocks to stupid? Is there a safety in stupid numbers phenom in existence? Now that’s a stupid question.
As I was saying, we travel to mjhd.net for today’s stupid hoax theory. Our featured poster is Wondering Who, aptly named as I am Wondering Who would really be so stupid as to believe what Wondering Who obviously thinks is the discovery of the year… The year is young, I’ll give Wondering Who that, yet I was enlightened last night beyond Wondering Who’s wildest dreams with the biggest clue dropped on us in 4 months…. perhaps it’s best that Wondering Who remains clueless as it were, as if this discovery gets Wondering Who this much in a tizzy, last night’s findings would surely cause Wondering Who to suffer an aneurism. In fact, I’m concerned that Wondering Who may not live past the first minute of Michael’s REAL return, whenever that might be. Perhaps Wondering Who should start drinking, now.
Here is the post in reference: http://www.michaeljacksonhoaxdeath.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=64&t=1567 where again we see !!!!! a plenty and ALL CAPS, obviously two tags which are the initial warning signs for stupid, and Wondering Who brandishes them proudly.
You see, Wondering Who has stumbled onto, OMG (and) !!!!!!! this mysterious website called michaelisback.com and WOW THIS MUST BE REAL. It’s on the internet after all, ‘nuf said. Yes yes, I know the body of Wondering Who’s post is soliciting opinions but really, his/her title says it all doesn’t it? Wondering Who is obviously suffering from some nagging lack of self-confidence style performance anxiety as he/she opens with such a BOLD EXPRESSIVE statement of “CHECK THIS OUT”… and then fizzles to a meek “thoughts anyone?”
One glance at this single page hack job of a website should have clued Wondering Who in to reality but no. Wondering Who, emboldened by the legitimacy of a web address presents his/her findings to the stupid community for feedback and validation, which he/she receives en masse. Stupid flocking to stupid, the phenom persists.
I have a few words for Wondering Who. Wondering Who, I hope to GOD you are new to the hoax community. With that presumption intact I have one piece of advice. Put your pants back on, stop typing for god’s sake, and start reading. Click around, learn something, and get up to speed, because if I had a dime for every “michaelisback.com”, “michaelreturns.com”, “michealressurrection.com”, and “michaelisalive.com” website that has popped up since 6-25, well, I’d be able to buy TII when it’s released on the 26th at least.
Wondering Who: been there, clicked that, moved on. Stop wasting our time.
Let’s get real. He/she who really believes Michael Jackson is going to announce to the world his jaw dropping, earth shattering, time standing still, greatest come back of all time on some illegitimate, one page website showcasing some ancient pic from 1990-something please stand up. Ok, all you on your feet get a year’s free membership to mjhd.net. The rest of you still in your seats, thank you, I need your brilliant minds on this hoax. Too bad so few of you remain.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: alexamj, Andromeda, Derek Clontz, fiction, Obama
There are still people who believe the earth is flat so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that there are still people who follow Derek Clontz’s blog… and yet still the stupidity never fails to amaze me. I mean, at some point you should become numb to the shock of stupid, right? Wrong. I must be a glutton for stupid because I still have to pull my jaw up off the floor when I see things like this posted around the hoax world.
For this post we travel to Andromeda’s forum, specifically this post: http://michaeljackson.dleex.net/viewtopic.php?f=64&t=195 made by username alexamj, who gleefully reprints in its entirety the latest crap from Clontz. As usual, information is presented with no source, no link, no article, just typing on a page like I am doing here, yet alexamj is DELIGHTED by its content.
WOW!! Michael Jackson, allegedly dead, is to meet with President Obama before the year’s end to discuss some covert topic!! Well holy shit Batman, this is some serious information now. I mean, this is the smoking gun right here! Let’s all hang up our hoaxing hats and rest on our laurels as thanks to Clontz and our dear friend alexamj, the hoax is revealed, and it’s only a MATTER OF TIME before this meeting will take place and Michael Jackson will return and save the world.
Yeah ok, except we only have one problem. This is as real as unicorns and fairy spit. HEY, ALEXAMJ aka STUPID: I hope you are 11 years old. And seriously, even then, I worry about the educational system of your country. I’m pretty sure I learned in the 3rd grade that when presenting a report you must refer to and include your source. No source=work of FICTION.
FICTION, dear alexamj, is defined by the American Heritage Dictionary (look: that’s a source) as:
fic-tion n. 1. A product of the imagination. 2. a. The category of literature with imaginary characters and events, including novels, short stories, etc. b. A work of this category.
So, you see, alexamj, making shit up and writing it down is FUN and ENTERTAINING and a DIVERSION… but it isn’t REAL. And if you believe it is, well, you’re stupid.
Can we PLEASE put our collective efforts together and shame people like this into removing their heads from fantasy land, dismount the unicorns, and stop chasing the leprechauns, and start doing some real fucking research? At this rate we are getting no where and posts and posters like this are the iceberg that downed the Titanic.
A-HOY, this bites.
Here we have mjlives25, who worked so so so so so very hard for months and months and months to present his/her carefully crafted theory which no doubt took many hours of research to assemble, surely leaving no stone unturned, working his/her fingers to the bone, compiling many sleepless nights of investigation, now unveiled to the world, and lovingly presented on mjhf.com, full of !!! and ALL CAPS and surely an omg or 2 in there somewhere….
http://michaeljacksonhoaxforum.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=2603
As you read, you can nearly taste mjlives25’s excitement and he/she is surely orgasming with delight and revelation and no doubt shaking in the afterglow of clicking the post now button….
Because, you see, mjlives25 is so clever, he/she has deciphered the hoax you see. *smacks forehead* Eureka! Michael Jackson’s message is that we need to end all wars and terrorism and evolve to love each other and spread peace and harmony over the planet and we need to do it by 2012.
OMG!!! Why didn’t anyone else SEE this!! Mjlives25 is a GENIUS!!! I mean, it’s not like Michael came out and fucking SAID this or anything…
Oh wait. He did.
Mjlives25? You win the Obvious Observation Award of the Week Award. Congratulations. Wear it proudly.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Johnny Depp, Marlon Brando, mjhf.com, rosemariaantigone
Ok, this is just going too far. Is the hoax community this stupid? Are we this obscure? Are we really going to look into every association and friend of a friend of a friend and draw parallels to the six degrees of separation of Michael Jackson and assume that anyone who ever knew some friend of Michael’s MUST be involved in the hoax??
I refer to this post at mjhf.com http://michaeljacksonhoaxforum.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2786 where username rosemariaantigone speculates that Johnny Depp is now in on the hoax. Her reasons? Because Michael’s friend Marlon Brando is friends with Johnny Depp and because Johnny Depp played Willy Wonka in a movie.
Come on. Are we really THIS desperate? Does the hoax community really need another reason to be taken LESS seriously by the general public? Do we have to pull the most obscure, retarded connection out of our asses to display to the world to prove we are a bunch of irrational loonies?
So, let me get this straight. Because Michael Jackson allegedly expressed some vague interest a million years ago in playing a role that Johnny Depp ultimately landed in some movie that relates to fantasy and Johnny Depp is allegedly a friend-of-a-friend of Michael’s, this means Johnny Depp is somehow involved in the hoax?
Straws. Grasping. Stupidity.
Look. rosemariaantigone, do me a favor. Stop posting stupid shit. You, and your brethren make us all look stupid by association.
You know, I get that as the weeks turn into months and the seasons change, and the hoax stretches on and on and on… we start to see clues where no clues really exist at all, but honestly? Frank Sinatra? I mean, maybe I was born yesterday but I just fail to see how ol’ Frankie could be involved here. But then, perhaps Xenogears is just that much smarter and more perceptive than I am… or maybe Xenogears is just stupid.
I am referring to this post: http://www.michaeljacksonhoaxdeath.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=64&t=1511 again from the delightfully whimsical mjhd.net, aka melting pot of all things stupid. Here we have Xenogears putting on his/her thinking cap and doing some SERIOUS, HARD CORE RESEARCH into Frank Sinatra lyrics and finding, OMG!!!, links and similarities to Michael and the O2 and HOLY SHIT this hoax…
Yeah, ok, Xenogears. Come back from the land of stupid and stop wasting your brain cells on this tangent. Look, Michael was influenced by Frank Sinatra. He idolized and admired the guy. His music and dance was inspired by the legend, this is true, well documented, and accepted as fact. Newsflash: artists are inspired by the greats that come before them. Yes, I know, you thought all your hard work revealed and revolutionary, earth shattering discovery… sorry to burst your bubble. Next time, try investigating something that MATTERS.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Don'tBelieveTheHype, Liberian Girl, mjhd.net
For our inaugural post we have this post http://www.michaeljacksonhoaxdeath.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=64&t=1267 on the ever delightfully unprofessional mjhd.net forum, posted by Don’tBelieveTheHype, who obviously lives up to their username. unfortunately, Don’tBelieveTheHype has mistaken conventional wisdom and common sense for hype, and has thrown his or her brain out the window along with the bath water.
This has been a reoccurring post since day 1, the stupid theory that Michael Jackson just wants to escape from it all, disappear, settle down to some normal life consisting of cleaning the toilet and attending PTA meetings. Yes, of course, that makes complete sense. Why didn’t I think of it. Why thank you, Don’tBelieveTheHype, for holding my hand and walking me down the primrose path of enlightenment….
HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE.
This is the stupidest theory I may have ever heard. Reasons:
- For those who have forgotten, this is Michael Fucking Jackson we are talking about here. Michael Jackson is an attention whore. He has spent his life seeking to promote himself in the most outlandish, outrageous, off the wall methods possible. Need I remind anyone of the oxygen chamber photos of the mid-80’s? Or the rumored purchase of the Elephant Man’s bones? Or the pet chimp he lived with? Michael Jackson never missed an opportunity to promote the WEIRD association with his stage presence and name. About the only thing I KNOW to be true is that if Michael wanted out, he’d just be gone…. like he has been for the past 3 years prior to 6/25….
- Liberian Girl. If Michael wanted out, Liberian Girl would be wiped from the record. There’d be no Liberian Girl pictures at the memorial, no Liberian Girl at the burial, no Liberian Girl plastered over every piece of “death” related literature that has been printed to date. You don’t have to be a foaming at the mouth rabid fan to know what Liberian Girl means…. you just have to have been paying the SLIGHTEST bit of attention to MTV in the 80’s to understand that Liberian Girl is a BIG FAT CLUE that Michael is directing from behind the scenes.
- If Michael wanted obscurity he could have had it. Shit, he DID have it…. until he put this entire circus into motion with the massive O2 punk, 911 call, ambulance slow-motion obstacle course, propofol rumors, and “I’m Alive and Here Forever” printed in 25′ tall letters above his COFFIN on a global telecast. Sorry. We haven’t even heard a word about Michael Jackson in about 3 years, it’s like he fell off the face of the planet until last spring. Obscurity he had. Obscurity he enjoyed. Entirely possible that he tried it out and got bored of it. This entire circus was orchestrated for one reason and one reason only, TO FUCKING ATTRACT ATTENTION… goal=completed.
So there you have it. Now then, Don’tForgetTheHype, and the handful of others like-minded as you… get your collective heads out of your collective asses and open your eyes. What have you been doing for 6 months? If you had been paying even the slightest bit of attention all this time, you’d know that this theory is the stupidest thing one could have dreamed up.
*Head-Desk* Man. With fans like this, Michael is going to have to work a hell of a lot harder to convey his message. As it is, only 5000 or so people across the world are paying attention anyway. Who knows what percentage of that number is as thick as Don’tBelieveTheHype, but if it’s even 5%, this hoax is doomed.
Not that stupid was waiting for the starting gun, stupid has been alive and well ever since Michael Jackson faked his death and gave stupid a petri dish to grow in. After floating around the forum community to months now, I have witnessed all varieties of stupid, even kinds of stupid I never fathomed existed prior to 6/25. But, I guess in the process of investigating this hoax, our minds have become open to all sorts of possibilities and I no longer deny the existence of fabled or mythical stupid…. stupid knows no bounds.
So come, let’s explore stupid, and investigate the depths of stupid. I mean, this is what Michael wanted, right? For his fans to open their minds and look deeper into the possibilities that exist in our world. I just doubt he bet on this much stupid… but then, his brilliance exceeds mine, so perhaps he did.
Stupid Hoax Theory of the Day 